I love my Mum, bless her. She’s just the nicest person and it was lovely to spend some time with her. We spend the entire time in hysterics – she’s bloody hilarious - and very generous with the vino - a deadly combination. She won’t mind me telling you that she’s totally deaf in one ear due to a childhood illness, but she just won’t get a hearing aid. It’s a standing joke in our family that my Mum completely ignores you unless you’re on the correct side when you’re talking to her! I can tell now when she hasn’t heard someone because she just nods vaguely and goes ‘mmm’ and thinks she’s getting away with it.
When she was over here we visited the beautiful spa again and had another of those wonderful facials that the girls and I had before. Knowing that my Mum wouldn’t mention that she can’t hear a bloody thing (they tend to talk quietly anyway during a treatment and it doesn’t help that they’re behind you), I tactfully mentioned it to her therapist beforehand who completely blew my cover by walking up to my Mum and bellowing ‘HELLO!!!! I’M YOUR THERAPIST’ in the loudest voice you’ve ever heard. Oops. Luckily she saw the funny side again. By the way, the spa is now finished and looking absolutely beautiful – all big chunky brown leather sofas and beautiful marble bathrooms. I was very impressed.
Then when we were in the UK we went shopping together and had a total riot. We steamed round the shops, drooling over jewellery, trying on fluffy slippers and generally spending far too much money. I was actually in danger of wetting myself when we drove out of the shopping centre car park and Mum proceeded to stop so far away from the ticket machine that she had to undo her seat belt and get out to put the ticket in. I was already sniggering when as soon as she put the ticket in the barrier instantly went up and she let out a blood curdling scream, legging it back to the car and diving in before revving the pants out of the engine and screeching off down the ramp at full speed like Nigel Mansell. Laugh? I nearly laid an egg.
The boys and Hubby enjoyed being at Mums as well – they were totally spoilt (Grandma is fast taking over the role once dominated by Grandma Maudie ‘can of coke, dear? No? Packet of crisps then? No? Mars bar dear? No? Make you a sandwich then? No trouble…’ ) and mad E, my Mum’s dog was ridiculously pleased to see us all as well. She’s rather podgy and a bit hairy but still insisted on trying to sit on everyone’s lap all the time. We came back covered in a fine coating of Labrador hair. It’s good to go home. Mind you, it’s also nice to come back and have a cup of tea without a hair in it.